Alternative "News" On The Rise

Unbelievably, none of this "news" is from The Onion, or any other satiracal "news" source. This is from actual quotes, as seen on several different television news programs.

HURRICANE ALFREDO DROPS THIRTY INCHES OF RAIN ON FLORIDA
According to Senate Minority Leader, Harry Reid, speaking at a liberal conference in Las Vegas, Nevada, "Global Warming has a name. Hurricane Alfredo threatens to drop thirty inches of rain on Florida."
Meanwhile, Tropical Storm Alberto hit Florida's Gulf coast. with winds of less than 50 mph and rainfall of less than three inches.

LAW SHOULD BE BROKEN TO PROVE THAT LAW HAS BEEN BROKEN
NY senior Senator Charles Schumer, commentating on Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald's decision to not bring charges against Karl Rove in the alleged CIA "leak" case, said, "It is obvious that something bad, probably illegal, has happened, and someone has done something wrong. The Special Counsel is obligated to write a report on what evidence has been found in this case."
It is illegal to reveal evidence or witness testimony used in a Grand Jury investigation.

300,000 KURDISH AND IRAQI DEATHS BY CHEMICAL AND BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS WERE NOT CAUSED BY WMD
Senator John Kerry, speaking at the "Take Back America" conference in Washington, DC, denounced his own belief in "misleading information" that there were WMDs in Saddam's arsenal.
Meanwhile, Democratic Party apologist Nancy (not Jane) Skinner, in a debate on Fox's Your World with Neil Cavuto, declared that the over 300,000 bodies in mass graves found in Iraq were not caused by WMDs.
Most of us know that Saddam did have a WMD program, and there have been accounts by such eyewitnesses as former Iraqi Air Force Vice-Marshall Gen Georges Sada, and by others in Saddam's government, as well as witnesses and victims to the attacks by Saddam on his own people, to show that there were, indeed, biological and chemical weapons in the Iraqi arsenal even up to the time of the US invasion. Just because such weapons have not been found since the US has been there, doesn't mean they never existed.
However, there are some, including Kerry who expect us to believe that it was all a lie.

THE 2006 ELECTIONS WILL GIVE THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY CONTROL OF CONGRESS
Not as long as their reality is so far away from the reality of general consensus.